5 Ways to Save Your Marriage And Your Job

It’s 10 o’ clock in the morning. My coworkers are driving me nuts. Steve just swiped my wrench saying he forgot his, Tamara already called me into her office this morning to “talk” about Bill’s accident last week on the job site, Frank is half asleep on the catwalk after an all-nighter boozing and fighting with his girlfriend, and I’m having to do everything just to cover everyone’s asses. I wish they’d grow the hell up or our Foreman, John would get a clue and see that I’m handling everything while they slack off!

Sound familiar? Something like this happens in offices all across the world every single day. It may be a little different in your office, Stella sits on your desk to gossip, Ted steals the last cup of coffee, Marge shows up late again, and for the love of god, Pete, stop calling! I already told you where you’re supposed to be going! Where the hell is Patricia while all this is going on? Doesn’t anyone here notice that I’m the only one working?!

The stress keeps building and building. It’s enough to drive someone into fits of rage!!! We’ve all been there, and everyone you talk to has a different way of dealing with it. Some people go home and drink a 6 pack (or more) of beer, and some choose something a little harder (dirty martini, anyone?). Others go to the bar to find solace with others, while some invite the whole office. Some go to the gym, some clean up their yard, some pop a Xanax, some do needlepoint, some yell at their kids and spouse. Different strokes for different folks, right?

When is it too much, though? When do you step back and say “enough is enough”! For most of us, it’s never. Stress and suffering in today’s society is a badge of honor, something we fought long and hard for that no one can take away from us. It’s better than a medal, a trophy, a plaque on your desk. No one can take my stress from me. I earned it!

Wrong.

You don’t need stress to be successful. You don’t want your employees to be stressed. It just causes problems.

Countless studies have shown us that stress is detrimental to our bodies. Originally, it was meant to be a physical trigger to our bodies to protect ourselves from danger. Fortunately, we don’t have to worry about running from bears or tigers or hunting mastodons. Unfortunately, our bodies haven’t figured this out yet.  Every time you experience a stressful situation- like when Patrice from HR calls you in to talk about Bill’s accident, our bodies flood with adrenaline triggering the flight or fight instinct. Even though the odds are very slim that Patrice is that hungry, your body literally thinks it’s going to be eaten.

Now, we deal with less life-threatening issues, but because we’re not engaging the stressful thing in physical combat or running away screaming with flailing arms, the resulting floods of cortisol- the stress hormone- have no way to be released from the bloodstream. Cortisol begins building up over time, which can wreak havoc on our minds and bodies. Scientists have pinpointed some of the problems associated with elevated stress hormones. These include lower immune function and bone density, increased weight gain, blood pressure, cholesterol, heart disease, lower comprehension and memory retention, and oh so much more.

The good new is, there’s more than one kind of stress. Good stress is called eustress. This type of stress creates a “seize-the-day” mentality that is often associated with a tangible goal and can lead us to accomplish a great amount without feeling jittery or anxious. After we’ve accomplished the goal, our cortisol levels return to normal because we have expended the energy needed to reduce them and the stressor is no longer present.

Bad stress, however (called “distress”) is a different animal. This type of general stress or anxiety doesn’t lend our bodies a way to diffuse the cortisol. It just piles up and piles up in our systems. This is also why people say “you’ll feel better if you work out”. You literally will feel better. Giving yourself the opportunity to “flee” something on a treadmill/ bike or “fight” with the free weights reduces that cortisol in your bloodstream and mitigates its damaging effects.

Since we’re not living in Bedrock with Fred, Wilma, and Barney, here are a few ways to reduce your cortisol levels this week.

1. Work Out: We already discussed this one briefly, but scheduling some time for kickboxing, running, swimming, or lifting weights are all good ways to burn up some of that cortisol. Don’t have or want a gym membership? Play with your kids; take the stairs; bike to work- all of these activities add up to a lower cortisol level at the end of the week.
2. Meditate: Taking a few deep breaths can help trigger your body to slow your heart rate and lower blood pressure. Regular meditation can make the process easier and more automatic for you so that when you find yourself stressed, you automatically take 10 deep breaths and feel your body relax.
3. Connect With Others: Psychology Today describes studies that have shown how important human interaction is, beginning from young ages and helping to form personalities well into adolescence. Consider the “tend-and-befriend” model as the exact opposite of the “fight-or-flight”. “Tend-and-befriend” responses trigger the release of oxytocin and reduce the symptoms of high cortisol levels. Oxytocin is a chemical released in the brain that plays a role in social bonding, healing, and reproduction. It evokes feelings of serenity and security while reducing anxiety. Connecting with others is a good way to keep your oxytocin levels stable and your cortisol levels lower.  (http://www.apa.org/monitor/feb08/oxytocin.aspx)
4. Laughter: Always the best medicine, laughter and levity- having a sense of humor- are healthy ways to bring your stress levels back in check. Laughter creates a physiological response that stimulates organs by increasing your oxygen intake, relieves stress, and soothes tension by increasing circulation. BONUS: The Mayo Clinic has shown that laughter has long-term effects, as well.
5. Listening to Music: Another great way to lower your stress levels is by listening to music you like that fits your mood. No, don’t get in the company truck and blast Mariah Carey or Metallica. Louder doesn’t always mean better- it doesn’t work that way- and don’t forget- your “calming atmosphere” may be stressful to your coworkers. Music can change our views on our environment. That being said, listening to music that makes us happy can increase our chances of perceiving external situations as positive rather than neutral or negative. Consider your iPod as another tool in your arsenal against stress.

Implementing some of these tools in your fight against stress can help reduce the metaphorical burden you carry everyday. That imagined weight bogs you down emotionally and can cause problems in other areas of your life- your relationship with your spouse or kids, your family, substance abuse or dependencies, inability to complete tasks, inability to relationships with coworkers, etc. Not only do your stress levels affect those around you, but they also have a physiological repercussions that can cause lasting damage to your body. Take care of yourself- psychologically, emotionally, and physiologically as well as those around you. Be a friend to your coworker or spouse, smile at someone on the bus, make a stranger laugh while waiting to cross the street.

Just like reducing stress can help life feel more full and enjoyable at home, your work life can get better as well! More and more companies are jumping on the stress-reduction bandwagon such as (surprise!) Google, Lantern, and Appster. Though they recognize that not all stress can or should be eliminated, you don’t want your employees going home with nervous tics, severe caffeine addictions, and hundreds of dollars in debt to their massage therapists. Maybe some of their tactics could help employees in other industries as well. Every little bit helps, and you never know what’s right around the corner.

All unmarked images courtesy of Pixabay.